Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
