Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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