I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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