some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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