my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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