My liver just broke up with me...
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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