Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
