We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
