I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
They have beer where we have blood.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
