dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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