she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
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You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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