part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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