no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
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You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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