Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
