Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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