Yo dont text me then not text me
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
