she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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