i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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