pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
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Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
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I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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