Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Do you still have your period?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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