if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
