well you can't waste a boner
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
