You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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