Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
