I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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