what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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