You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
