Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
