whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
ugly people sure do ruin things
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Well I just put wine in my tea
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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