Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
