i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
