no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
