Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
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No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
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Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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