sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
