It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
