great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
