Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I think i got beer on your cat.
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