Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
