This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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