dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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