I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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