All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
