Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize