so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
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