The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Couch. On fire.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
