My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
