i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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