she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
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