and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
