so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
