Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
