Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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