I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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