Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
