I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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