she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
