Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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