i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
