...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
