There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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