new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
