Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
