you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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